


Paint It, Black

by DeltaX



Series: Eternity [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Caring Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit is a snek, For Me, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Moral Dilemmas, Morally Neutral Deceit Sanders, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Patton is dad, Rage is angry, Remus is a piece of trash, Self-Indulgent, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Sympathetic Remus Sanders, They may be dark but they aren't evil, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, Virgil is pretty much a villain in this AU, im a sucker for fluff tbh, only for a short while, sympathetic dark sides, why did I add lust
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-10-10 23:44:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20536613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeltaX/pseuds/DeltaX
Summary: He shot upwards and what he saw both terrified and completely excited him at the same time."How- what- ...a-are you still trapped here? What..?"In that moment, he forgot to how speak. It was another person! Or well... Another side but who cares?Lunging forward, he wrapped his arms around the taller side tightly, not even caring that who he was squeezing was one of his captors.Creativity





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Silence and Duality](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11462142) by [xaandiir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xaandiir/pseuds/xaandiir). 
  * Inspired by [A Little Friendship Thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22264951) by [Miranda_tries_their_best](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miranda_tries_their_best/pseuds/Miranda_tries_their_best). 

> Will be uncensored swearing and of course some weird shit in general from Remus and Lust throughout this story just as a warning, but I will add a note to the start of each chapter saying if there is.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_ **Icy fingers gripped his arm in the darkness, his hair stood on end as a shiver raced down his spine and a lump came to his throat.** _

_ ** It was him. ** _

_ **A shrill cry echoed in the mist as icy wind slashed at his face and the rain danced upon his head. ** _

_ **He was reliving that day again...** _

_ **CRASH** _

A small boy jolted awake, cold sweat pooling on his burning forehead. Gaping, he pulled his black hoodie closer around himself, trying to leave as little exposed as possible.

_Pathetic _

_This is why they locked you away_

"S-shut up... Th-they will come f-for me... Th-they-"

_What? Care about you?_

_No one loves you, not even the dark sides_

_You should have died that day, not that poor light side_

_They wouldn't care if you never escaped_

He hated feeling like this, hated being who he was. To be honest, he couldn't even tell if he hated himself because he was Depression, or because he has depression. Maybe even both.

Sighing, he stood up and decided to keep walking. He would reach the end of this dark room eventually, right? As much as he wished that to be true, Depression didn't think it was possible, and even then how would he get out? If there's a door, would he be able to find in the pitch black, seemingly endless, room?

"What, will there be some glowing neon sign? 'Congratulations on walking for 15 years in the same direction. Here's your exit!'" Huffing softly, Depression kept walking trying to push the voices to the back of his head.

_They would just send you back even if you did get out_

He missed the others. They were his dark, strange family as Morality might have put it. Apathy and Deceit were the dad and mum of the group respectively, Envy and Lust were like big brothers, Duke was very explicit, but he still loved him and Paranoia... Well, he wasn't sure. Paranoia didn't like him very much, going as far as tripping him whenever he got the chance and always whispering into his ear exactly as the voices did. He knew after 15 years, Paranoia probably still hated him.

While walking, Depression was unconsciously mumbling all of this out loud. A habit he gained after a few months here. It almost made it feel like he was talking to someone, besides the voices of course. 

<strike> _Aren't you forgeting someone? _ </strike>

_What about Wrath? _

** _Who was Wrath to you, little one?_ **

Those were the slightly kinder voices. They sometimes got angry, but never as much as the others. Eventually, Depression gave them names to help keep his sanity. They were Dylan, Jack and Charlotte, respectively.

"W-Wrath? Well he was..."

_My lover_

_My crush_

_My-_

"Friend. Now shut the fuck up." He spoke with finality. "I'm so sick of you guys nagging in my ears.'

<strike> _Motherfucker_ </strike>

_I know goddamn well your parents raised you better than that!_

** _Dylan! Don't swear in front of the child!_ **

<strike> _He's 25, Charlotte! And he literally just said fuck! Why aren't you yelling at him?_ </strike>

_No, Thomas is 25. He's technically only 19_

** _I knew you were on my side, Jack!_ **

_ I'm on no one's side _

<strike> _Aw, what?_ </strike>

_ Both of you shut up _

"How about all of you shut up?" Maybe if he was nicer to them they would be nicer to him, is probably what you thinking right now. However, he was kind to them and tolerated all their shit for about 3 years, before giving up and shouting back, especially when they mentioned Rage.

Shaking his head, he sat down, deciding to just rest for a bit. Laying down, he went over that day again and again in his head. He could hear their words now.

"Depression?" It almost sounded real, like Wrath was really in front of him. "Is that you?"

Wait, that isn't Wrath, and those are not sentences anyone said that day so why..?

He shot upwards and what he saw both terrified and completely excited him at the same time.

"How- what- ...a-are you still trapped here? What..?"

At that moment, he forgot how to speak. It was another person! Or well... Another side but who cares?

Lunging forward, he wrapped his arms around the taller side tightly, not even caring that who he was squeezing was one of his captors. 

_ **Creativity** _

_ **(729 Words)** _


	2. Chapter 2

_ **"Just get out of my sight** _ _ ** . . . Please . . . It’s to painful to look at you. I thought I knew who you were, but I don’t at all."** _

_ **"No, no, no! You have to believe me! Please, I’m begging you, don’t leave!"** _

_ **The figure stared at him, refusing to cry, and reached for their coat. ** _

_ **"Don't leave me here! Take me with you! Morality!"** _

Depression gasped in surprise, quickly letting go of Creativity and backing away. He ducked his head and pulled the hood of his jumper up, his black fringe falling into his face.

As their bodies parted, Creativity looked into his eyes. They were blue like the sea, deep and changing, with a burst of purple, like an island right in the centre and soft, midnight blue rings along the edges.

“Your eyes . . . ,” Creativity started to say, before being jolted back into the reality of the situation. "You'll come with me then. It's been 15 years, I'm sure you've learned your lesson. . . . Like you deserved to be here in the first place . . ." Very obviously mumbling the end of his sentence, Creativity stood patiently, probably not even wanting Depression to move at all. "Well let's go. I don't have all day."

Run and have the humiliation of inevitably getting caught, or the embarrassment of agreeing to go with him?

Depression wasn't sure what was worse if he were honest. Saying no was also an option, but he doubted he had much choice.

<strike> _You might as well just agree . . . Then punch him because fuck Creativity, he's a dick_ </strike>

** _Oh, come on Dyl. No need to be so mean_ **

_Actually, I fully agree with him_

<strike> _Wait, what?_ </strike>

_He needs to be brought back to his senses, and apparently the only way to do that is to beat it into him. Must be why he always goes on an "adventure"_

Depression could hear the quotation marks and sarcasm when Jack said that.

_ when he wants to be better at something or gain creative inspiration _

** _I guess . . ._ **

<strike> _Whoo! That's one point for Dylan and none for Charlotte! Now beat up Creativity!_ </strike>

"How about I punch you instead?" Depression whisper yelled back.

"What did you say, fiend?" Depression heard the hesitance in calling him that in Creativity's voice. 

_He's right, you know_

_You're nothing_

_Even Morality thought so-_

"I was just saying how great it's going to be to see the mindscape again."

"Oh, okay then."

<strike> _How dumb can you get?_ </strike>

_Give him credit, Dyl. At least he knows English_

_ **Why are both of you never nice?** _

Depression sighed and curled tighter into his hoodie.

"Here we go, Depresso!" Creativity yelled, pulling out a katana from thin air.

He huffed, holding back giggles at the nickname. He strained his face while trying to keep a smile from breaking loose on his features, he let the quiet drone of the voices and their footsteps mix into a soft symphony of white noise that calmed his racing nerves and pounding heart.

Depression would shove questioning Creativity on why he was here in the first place and his intentions in taking him with him later. 

For now, he would just enjoy the rush of light upon his pale skin when they entered the light sides commons and let himself bask in Paranoia's anger when they faced each other once more.

He just hoped he would be able to evade the watchful eyes of the light sides long enough to escape back to the dark side and his family.

"Actually, on second thought, you should stay here for a bit longer." Depression tilted his head to the side slightly for a fraction of a second, completely unaware of how adorable Creativity thought he looked in that one moment.

". . . You want me to wait another 15 years?"

"No! No, no, no! I mean so I can get to know you a little. It'll be easier to trust, and look like I trust, you if I know some things about you." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Before I was forced to help trap you here, I always did find you interesting and I guess-"

"You want someone to talk to." 

"Yes exactly! And I guess so you can get used to talking to people again as well." Creativity reached out to pat his shoulder, looking hurt when he flinched in return. "We could play 20 questions? Only for a few minutes, and if you don't want to answer something then we can get up and leave or we can just lie here for a bit. Sound okay . . ?"

". . . We should sit down." Creativity looked like he was mentally applauding himself and Depression couldn't make up his mind on whether or not he hated the expression he was making.

"So I guess I'll go first?... Uh, what's your favourite colour?" 

"Midnight blue or royal purple. Same question back at ya."

"Red, of course. Favourite food?"

"I remember chocolate being good. What about you?"

"Pizza? I don't know. All food is good, to be honest." Depression couldn't help but giggle a little at that, which in turn made Creativity grin brightly.

After a while, they seemed a lot more comfortable with each other, and 20 questions turned into just asking things about one another. Eventually, they wasted one and a half hours talking and finally decided it was time to go.

Depression stood up, stretching out his limbs and internally smiled at the painful pop he got from each joint.

"Hey, Depresso?" 

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to answer but . . . My name's Roman. It's great to meet you. And . . . May I ask what yours is?"

Depression hesitated, before grinning. He no longer cared about keeping up his walls with Creativity. 

"Nice to meet you, Roman. I.. don't feel comfortable sharing my name right now. But you could call me Crow? I-its a nickname I got because of-."

Roman lunged forward and wrapped up the smaller side in a hug, lifting his feet off the ground. This was the second time they had hugged each other in the past 2 hours, the difference this time, was that both sides hugged back.

And now, he enjoyed the warmth Roman excreted, and ignored the voices nagging at him about Creativity locking him away.

** _(1020 Words)_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman finally brings Depression to the main part of the mindpalace, featuring Vigil being angry
> 
> OR
> 
> Story time from a dark side, featuring Logan being angry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will be mostly set in Depression's POV, however I will be adding little voice logs that one of the dark sides recorded at the start of each chapter. Usually the logs will hold some relevance to the rest of the chapter but, like this one, it only holds little similarities that could be written off as a coincidence. But maybe that's a lie and there really is some hidden message, you'll never know.
> 
> WARNINGS:  
Swearing and a little bit of violence

**IApril 10th, 2015 - 01:32am**

_This was suggested to me by Envy. He uses a similar thing to get his thoughts out to help him feel better, so I thought I'd give it a try. _

_So uh, this is log 1 I guess._

_He never really specified what I was supposed to talk about, he just said anything I had on my mind. Which is my rather dysfunctional family, so I guess a story about them is appropriate. _

_There were times that my family was happy. It was rare, but that's possibly what made us all cherish those moments more._

_One time a year where there was no fighting. One time a year where Apathy would show emotion, one time a year Depression would venture out of his room. One time a year..._

_...One time a year I would drop the act and be myself. _

_The day was known to many as Christmas, but I liked to call it my Not-So-Silent Night. Why? Because not a single one of them knows how to shut up, and putting them all in a room together is the worst idea anybody has had since Logic punched Morality in the face that one time. Ugh, even Logic can't stand that guy and his stupid-_

_...I'm getting pretty off-topic, huh? Wait- I could tell that story instead. It's probably more interesting anyway._

_Well anyway, it was, uh, around Easter of 2002 this story takes place. Apathy and I were doing our usual rounds of the Mindpalace when we caught sight of Logic, Creativity and Depression._

_Depression had always hated the brightness of the Light Side common room and so he _ _never went there willingly, in fact, he never really left his room unless coaxed out. So it was a huge surprise when I saw him standing there as well. Not fighting or resisting, or anything. Just... standing there. Unmoving. _

_They all appeared to be having a normal conversation, strangely enough. But of course, I couldn't hear what they were saying, so it really could've been anything. Though, considering there were all seemingly enjoying cookies I doubt there was anything to worry about._

_I very nearly had a mini heart attack when Morality made his entrance. But honestly, I don't think anybody would have been prepared for him to bust down the door as he did._

_As Depression stepped back against the wall and Morality came closer, I could see the terrified glint in his eye._

_Morality glared with all the wrath he seemed to be able to muster. He said something in a hushed tone close to Depression's ear. _

_Creativity and Logic looked horrified, that or stunned. I don't remember._

_Anyway, Logic - or was it Creativity? Nevermind, it doesn't matter - looked at Morality with cold eyes, and then proceeded to slam his fist into his face. _

_Next thing I knew Apathy was _laughing. Really la_ughing. _

_I felt so proud of him showing emotions that I didn't have a choice but to slide a thank you note under Logic's door. _

_Y'know what? I didn't even mention how Creativity slid a note under my door saying, and I quote, "Me and Logic are sorry about what Morality said. Please don't get Rage to kill us."_

_...Thinking back on it maybe I should've asked what Morality said, huh?_

**\---**

**April 10th, 2020 - 06:34am**

Roman, being the absolute gentleman that he is, offers Depression his bed to sleep in for the time being while he did some work once they got to his room. Depression refuses the whole idea of sleep, of course, but Roman still insists he gets some rest, preferably on a comfy surface. To which he reluctantly agreed.

_("You need sleep!"_

_"No I don't, I was sleeping just before you showed up."_

_"I can see your eye bags past the fringe, Stormy Weather. Its either sleep or I knock you out."_

_"... shouldn't we talk to the others first?"_

_"They won't be awake at this hour!"_

_"You are."_

_"If I promise to wake you so we can talk to the others, will you sleep?"_

_"... fine")_

It doesn't explain how Depression ended up with his head in Roman's lap, but it wasn't like he was complaining. The creative side was like a heater, and he was rather touch starved.

He only moved because he felt Roman getting uncomfortable, which he regretted immediately. The bed, while soft, didn't feel the same. But he had already made the choice, so he guessed he had to live with it. And Roman had moved to his desk to do some work anyway, so it wasn't like he could change his mind.

Eventually, Depression drifted off to sleep while staring at the ceiling. He noticed that it coloured, but in his sleepy state, he didn't notice that it was painted to look like a plate of chocolate chip cookies.

Roman, on the other hand, was contemplating asking Depression if he wanted to lean on him again. He kinda missed the warmth cold-eyed side provided. He found his pride hating that idea, so he shoved the thought away. He found sleep after finally completing the dream he wanted for Thomas, forgetting entirely that he promised to wake Depression and reintroduce him to the others.

How Depression managed to sleep for 7 hours without jolting awake was surprising. Even more surprising was that he never awoke to Roman standing over him, shaking him. Said side was unconscious at his desk, face pressed down against whatever he was working on.

_ <strike>You really should have taken my advice and decked him in the face. Didn't I tell you that he sucked?</strike> _

_Dylan, we've been over this. No violence._

_ **Guys, cool it. Can't you see he's trying to make a very important decision right now?** _

Sighing and shoving the voices to the back of his head, he contemplated his options. Getting up to wake Roman and bring the inevitability of facing the light sides closer, go back to sleep and push back talking to them or (he's really leaning towards this one) he can sneak out of the creative sides room and dash down the hall towards his family. It was hard for him to choose.

Yeah nevermind, he knew which one he was going for.

Quietly slipping on his shoes, he tiptoed over to the door and placed his shaking hand on the knob and twisted. Carefully he pushed the door open and peeked outside. Thankfully, he couldn't hear anybody upstairs (it took him a second to remember Roman's room was downstairs) which eased his anxiety a little.

Creeping up the stairs was a fun experience because every step he put his full weight on creaked extremely loudly. By the time he had reached the second floor landing his heart rate had gone through the roof. Taking one more glance around to make sure no one was around before racing down the hall and skidding to a halt Infront of the only thing stopping him from seeing his family. A pitch-black door that opened into the dark side.

He failed to notice three things when he opened it.

One, he wasn't wearing his hoodie.

Two, Roman was awake when he left.

Three, Paranoia was sitting on the couch downstairs.

**\---**

Roman couldn't believe Depression was gone, what made it worse was the screaming match that ensued shortly after he noticed with Virgil, who saw him leave. He tried to convince the anxious side that he wasn't dangerous anymore and just really wanted someone to talk to (which was obviously only half-true, but Virgil didn't have to know that).

Despite all his best efforts, they got into a huge argument which was eventually ended by Logan and Patton, noticing the commotion, breaking it up.

For the rest of the day, both sides refused to come out of their rooms.

One of them was very subtle in their excuses for why, while the other was extremely blunt.

"I have work to do!" or "You guys can still have fun without me there, right?" was used by one, while the other simply said he didn't want to be near anyone for the time being.

Even though Patton offered to talk to Roman, Logan was the one who ended up doing it because they both agreed Patton would be better suited to speak to Virgil.

That brings us to now, with Logan standing outside of Roman's door trying figure out the best way to approach the topic while Patton asserted his place as the father of the group by pulling that parent thing of knocking while opening the door.

By the end of this story, we will have one side throwing things while another sobs as someone else leaves an unconscious body as they bleed from the face.

Here's how that shit went down.

**(1,475 words)**

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if any charracters were a little OOC, plus I'm still working out the kinks in my dark sides so sorry if they jumped around a bit personality wise.
> 
> I also don't have an editor so there may still be some mistakes in this. 
> 
> Correct me in the comments, cowards.
> 
> Please leave any feedback in the comments! It will really help my writing!


End file.
